“Being a petite and
short girl has been one of my greatest challenges. Despite struggling to accept
myself, I was bullied by others for the better part of my schooling years.”
Grace outlines with great emotions.
Grace Muthoni Maina
is a firstborn among two and she describes her childhood as normal and simple.
According to societal standards, she was described as a good girl, lovable,
disciplined, and very outspoken.
“My greatest
struggle has always been my body size and height. The older I got the more it
affected me. I always felt that I needed to work hard to fit in and this
affected my self-esteem greatly.” Grace Explains.
While in High
School, Grace decided to commit her life to Christ and would then go ahead to
serve as a Sunday school teacher as well as sing in the church choir. Grace had
thought this would make her feel better but as she outlines, “deep down I felt
too small, not beautiful, too thin and that I was not like other girls.”
“I joined college
soon after High School and here is where my life changed.” She highlights.
Having grown up in a conservative family parties and outings were unheard of.
Grace felt that her parents had all along hidden the real and free world from her.
Seeing that people out there were free to do whatever they want to fascinate her.
The freedom was
tasty, but Grace was not prepared for what was to befall her. Being a firstborn, privileged and a girl raised in a Christian family, getting pregnant in
college at the age of eighteen was going to be a game changer.
“The hardest thing
I have ever had to do is break the news of my pregnancy to my parents. I could
not face them and so I sent my mother a text message. Both my parents were
disappointed and devastated by the news.” Grace tells us.
Grace describes the
days that followed having been filled with a dark cloud over her head. She
felt embarrassed, and broken and even contemplated suicide twice but had no courage
to share it with anyone. “I can remember asking God whether he was punishing me
for turning against Him” She adds.
She goes on to
explain that, society judged her harshly. It felt like everyone around her was
judging and questioning her. They wondered what would become of her and
wondered what example she would be to the Sunday School Children.
The societal criticism and expectations made her
feel like a failure. “I had no peace and doubted my capabilities as a mother.
Worse still I had no one to turn to and my social circle changed.” Grace points
out.
Grace became bitter
she hated herself. She went ahead to pull down all her social media accounts to
lock out the rest of the world. Depression crept in and she felt that she had
lost everything.
“There is a great
stigma associated with teenage pregnancy. I went through emotional turmoil and
might not manage to fully lay it out. The pain and shame made me lose hope,
something that most teenage mothers are dealing with.” Grace mentions. She goes
ahead to share her desire to support other teenage mothers and sharing her
story is just the beginning.
Grace currently
works for an airline and her income is enough to meet the basic needs of her
and her son.
To sum it up Grace
says, “My journey of motherhood has not been easy, but the grace of God has
been sufficient. I am grateful to have met Tabitha Mwai the founder of Decent
Conversations an inspiration to young mothers. Tabitha has sparked a fire that
I thought was dead. I look forward to being of hope to teenage mothers.”
Do you have a story you would like to share?
Talk to our team via email at thedecentconversations@gmail.com
Check out our podcast on Sound Cloud and YouTube for more insights and
Interact with us on Twitter and Facebook
We also invite you to watch our show every Wednesday
on Signs TV starting at 9:30PM.
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