My Life, Their Demands!

Courtesy:PinInterest

Today I want to throw a tantrum on behalf of myself and others who are tired of social demands and expectations constantly being thrown at their faces.

 

Every person’s life is a different script according to God’s purpose and will for our life. But  to most human beings we are all are expected to have the same script. Society expects you to go by its rules expectations and demands.  My plea to all of you out there is to Just let me fill out my script.  

Compare and contrast is one of the major causes of stress and depression in this modern world. Stress and depression are among the leading causes of suicidal deaths in Kenya and the world. 

Not a week goes by without one hearing suicide news being broadcasted. People live their lives comparing themselves to others or being compared to others by other people.

I want to live my adult life based on my terms and conditions, but my parents, family, friends’ church, and society at large just won’t let me be. This is affecting the person I am and was really meant to be.Yes, it is true that we all need advice now and then but that doesn’t mean that you take the driver’s seat of my life. 

 Also Read:Let Me Be

"You are next in line or when are we going to eat your chickens?” Is another statement I have been told in almost all the weddings and dowry payment ceremonies I have recently attended. Please let us enjoy our friends’ celebrations and be part of their happiness without you reminding us of what you think we ought to be doing about our lives which through your eyes are  incomplete and boring.

 

“When are you getting married, settling down or what are your future plans” is a common question that all of us above the age of 25 get every time we interact with people in social gatherings. If I get married at a young tender age the questions or statements everyone will be throwing at me are “What is/was the hurry for?” “Are you sure you are ready for marriage? (As if anyone is ever ready for anything or can be prepared enough). 

Then is there is the matchmaking. I’m not against it. It only becomes frustrating when it is forced onto us and a lot of nagging and questions. Bring us together then give us space to find out for ourselves if we are really into each other. In case we aren’t compatible and chose not pursue the relationship further then I expect our decision to be respected and accepted

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Courtesy:Emotionalme.net

 If at the age of 27 I’m not married and they do not see any signs of wedding bells around the corner, then another dose of pressure comes in. For men, it is seen as a sign of weakness and not wanting to mature and have responsibilities. Fact is there are married men who are very irresponsible and immature. Just let them be!

Ladies your “biological clock” is ticking and you may not have babies. I know children are a gift from God and if He meant you are the one in charge of bringing another human being into the world then when the time comes for the human to be brought into this world definitely it will come.

Once married and a year goes by without kids the pressure of when you are planning to have them comes in from parents, relatives and friends. Every social gathering you are invited to or attend turns into an interview session on what the problem could be as to why you are yet to have babies. 

As a married couple,  we have the same challenge or it could be we don’t want babies yet or forever. It is our marriage not theirs. Couples won’t have babies if it isn’t God’s will for them to have babies in the marriage and if it is His will then in His perfect time the couple will have children. Pray for God to bless us with Children and stop stressing us out with blames that hurt our already bleeding hearts. If you have one child above three years then the couple will constantly be haunted with the pressure adding another child.  

Courtesy: Pixabay.com

 “All your age mates are married with 3 children what are you waiting for? If you do not want to get married then find a man to give you a baby!” One of the most absurd advice someone gave me recently. Yeah, you can imagine the shock inside me and sinister smile I gave them. I felt like really shouting my lungs out and lashing words out for them to leave me alone and then realized it is a waste of energy because they will never understand whatever I’m doing with my life. 

If I have a child out of wedlock I become a disgrace, social outcast and an evil person even in the church that my peers and the young adolescents cannot look up to because I have no control of my desires.It is my right to decide to whom and when to get married. Parents and relatives give me their vision of who the perfect spouse their tribe, religion and social status. Pieces of advice are important but decisions and choices should best be left to me and me only.  

Read : My Thoughts My Choices My Happiness. 

Allow me to enjoy all my seasons in peace. Marriage and Children don't complete man but knowing my Purpose in God totally completes me. Then marriage and children come in to complement me.  I need my personal space to breath. This is a positive way to ensure Wellness and Well-being for our loved ones.  THIS IS OUR WORLD, NOT A COMPETITION SPACE.

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