Marriage is not a Bed of Roses Neither is it a Bed of Cactus

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Not so long ago, I was listening to one of the local radio stations and women were going on and on about their bad marriages and how so many men have resorted into having extra-marital affairs. 

We have heard this kind of stories over a thousand times and if you listen closely, marriage has become a blame game. Nobody is willing to be the bigger person to try fix the problem rather most couple have opted to get a 'copying mechanism' in the name of supporting the children.

Back to my main story. A certain lady called in and she was proud to be a 'Mpango wa Kando'. I am not sure what is the correct English name for this but I will go with a 'Kept Woman' for purposes of this article. 

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So this lady was explaining how, the wife to his lover pushed him away and she was there to comfort him. Let us call our Kept Woman Ruth, the lover Sam and Sally will be the wife to Sam. This is to make sure we are all on the same page.

Ruth claims that, she is comfortable with the arrangement she has with Sam. She went ahead to even explain that, she has had an opportunity to talk to Sally and was very blunt with her. Ruth blames Sally for not taking good care of Sam who ended up in her arms and now they have gone too far to end their relationship. 

Let us just take a moment to analyses this situation. 

My first reaction is, 'What right does Ruth have to attack Sally and judge her? The two have been married for whatever time they have been and the situation in their marriage has nothing to do with Ruth!' 

Secondly, 'Is getting a 'Mpago wa Kando' the solution to hard times in marriage?' Honestly speaking, the pointing of fingers and 'coping mechanism' will only create more problems.

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This story just got me angry for some crazy reason seeing how the institution of marriage has been disrespected and worse still, how women are destroying each other. 

So many ladies called in explaining the hardships they have encountered in their marriages and they level of pain they have had to endure. 

This should not be the case at all. God ordained the institution of marriage and everything He made was beautiful, INCLUDING MARRIAGE!!

Before I could call the station myself, a lady called in and blamed women for their failed marriages. 

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

 Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD

These citations are purely to drive my point home. Women have been given power from above and there is no single verse in the Bible that says you should suffer in marriage or be exploited by your partner. If anything, the only thing associated with marriage is love. Last I checked, love and misery do not go together.

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As a woman, you are the pillar of your marriage. The man is the head of the family but you are the neck. If things are not working out, get to the bottom of things and get to your knees at all time. Nothing can hold a couple together more than prayer. Always keep in mind that marriage is not supposed to be miserable so work it out girl!

God did not promised a walk in the park neither did he condemn you to a life time of misery. Sometimes, you may need to walk away and that will not make you any less a woman. It is time you decide to look out for yourself, if life takes a toil on you then who will raise those kids you keep taking crap for their sake.

Here are the qualities of love,

1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 8 : Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.

If you ain't getting any of the above then there is no love. Be the bigger person and make a wise decision. Let me stop here for today, I could go on and there is a chance of me getting personal and I do not want that to happen.

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