A Stalling Career and Broken Relationship Pushed me to Depression – Kaka Tim

Photo | Courtesy

Nairobi has always been the proverbial land of greener pastures. To seek these greener pastures Kaka Tim came to Nairobi with high spirits and there is nothing he looks forward to like financial freedom. Before getting on his feet, a kind cousin offered to host him.

“My career took longer to pick up, but I remained optimistic.” Kaka Tim explains. He caught a break and got a writing engagement where the payment was based on several words. Tim worked so hard and was able to get a decent income monthly. This at the time was adequate to cater for his monthly bills.

At this point, Tim decided to move out and rent his own house and so he moved into an SQ in South B. Things went on well for a while until some point when his articles were not being published. “This happened for a while and my steady income was shrinking fast. Without being published I had no income”.  This was just a couple of months after he had started enjoying financial freedom.

Parallel to the stalling career was a broken relationship. After committing to this relationship for 2 years the relationship came to an end. “As usual men are always in the wrong and I was responsible for the breakup”, he adds.

Tim felt like the universe was against him and so many times he kept questioning himself. Day by day he went on to lose his self-confidence and started getting fixated on his childhood years. “I kept remembering how one of my close relatives kept telling me that I will never amount to anything. At this moment it appeared to be true”.

“One disappointment after another drove me to depression and I had no idea.” Tim went on to expound. He got to a point where he lost interest in football one thing that he loved and enjoyed most. He did not understand what was happening to him at that moment and solitude gave him comfort. Thank God for true friends because they noticed that something was amiss. This is when he started the journey of dealing with depression.

Getting out of depression is an uphill task especially when your situation doesn’t seem to change. Tim approached a man of God whom he trusted but to his disappointment his situation was not salvaged. This simply added salt to injury. There are moments when he even tried to take his own life unsuccessfully.

“I am very grateful for my friend who stood by me and kept checking in on me regularly”. It is in your lowest moment that you know who cares about you and your true friends. Tim explains how important is to just be checking on your loved ones because you never know what they are going through.

What kept Tim going was the solace he found in music and the support of his good friend. He says music was also a very good form of therapy. Some songs spoke to his situation and gave him solace in his lowest moments.

“Going through depression was tough and it took me close to 2 years to get back to my normal self. I would not wish it even on my worst enemy and that is why I share my story to inspire someone.” He concludes.

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For more on this topic watch this video on Men and Mental Health

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