That Moment When It’s Over and You Have no Idea

It´s 2.00 am, I lay wide awake on my bed. Tried sleeping from 10.00 pm but sleep has eluded my eyes. I have been tossing and turning a million questions crisscrossing my smart mind. The biggest question is, WHY? One could ask what is killing me. LOVE IS KILLING ME.

Our Love

Going down memory lane to 3 years ago, Eli and I have been dating for those three years and five months to be exact.

We meet at a friend’s birthday party which I attended while visiting Kisumu city and since we were seated at the same table, the two of us started a conversation shyly not focusing on any particular topics but just making small talk from observations.

It was obvious that by the time the party was ending, we had exchanged contacts and were a bit free with each other.

Three months of phone conversations in the name of getting to know each other earned us a real date. Just like every girl out there, I was super excited since I really liked Eli. He had traveled all the way from Kisumu to Mombasa to take me out.

Just between us, what I felt for him was more than like. Our date was heaven. It just confirmed what my heart already felt. Eli was fun, caring, a devoted Christian and to me the most handsome of them all. I was home at last. 


He was my best friend, my Romeo and I was his Juliet. He spoiled me with calls every morning, and evening and random messages during the day. (Just the thought of this brings tears to my eyes) we would talk about everything from food, interests, and dreams to football. If my memory is still clear A.F.C. Leopards and Chelsea were his team.

There is no more beautiful face than that of a woman/girl who is in love. It glows naturally without makeup. This particular Thursday evening we talked as usual before hanging up.

“I love you so much, my love. Take care of yourself for me.”

These were his last words. We promised to talk the next day. Friday came and I called the love of my life as you all by now know. His phone went unanswered.

The Unforeseen end

I called him every day for 4 consecutive months and he never answered my calls nor replied to my messages. What had happened to the love of my life? All means of communication from me got no response.

I was worried and confused at the same time. Eli and I had not quarreled or had a disagreement that would justify his silence. If he was joking or playing a prank game on me, then that was not funny at all. I asked myself a lot of questions with no answers.

“Whatever it is that you are going through please share”. Accompanied by a bible verse in the book of James. That was the last message I sent to him which he still did not respond to.



Photo Source: Shutterstock.com

And that is how my love story came to an end. He has never called or texted me one year down the line. I believe I have the right to know what really happened to him, to us!

What was I to him that he chose to shut me out of his life? How does one just let go of such beautiful memories? How does love just die without an explanation?

What has experience taught me?

·       Men never say what they are going through. It’s a man code, ´Never tell or show suffering.´

·       You should give him time to go through whatever it is that is eating him up.

·       Never pester him for answers. You will never get them leaving you frustrated and desperate.

·       Be patient and try listening even though this is very difficult, especially for us ladies.

My Word to Men

·       Keeping a problem to yourself doesn’t solve it. In fact, it just brings a lot of unnecessary tension into a relationship.

·       It doesn’t make you a strong man. Honestly, a man who thinks they can save the world on their own is VERY WEAK.

·       Lastly, if you are tired of a relationship be a real MAN and say it to my face instead of vanishing.

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