Thursday 16 June 2016

The 6 Steps before Bounce Back After a Breakup


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Everybody wants to win a breakup and you forget that the real struggle begins after you decide to part ways. After a break up you will always go through a cocktail of emotions.

It takes people different paths to bounce back depending on an individual and the nature of the ended relationship. 

Some never recover from a breakup and they end up losing their hearts.
Here are the stages

1. Relief Stage
The first feeling you get after a breakup is a relief especially if the relationship was dead, consuming, or abusive. You find yourself saying things like:

“That was long overdue”
“I am glad s/he walked away”
“Thank heavens it is over”
“Now I can have some peace”

These thoughts are simply your inner self-validation of the decision you made.

2. Self-doubt Stage
Once the adrenaline is over reality creeps in and the internal conflict begins. At this stage, you tend to second-guess your decision and you will even find yourself thinking that you could have done things differently.

You may even try to reconcile with your Ex at this stage and if lucky the relationship may flourish. In the worst-case scenario, the relationship becomes a series of break-ups and make-ups. 

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3. Anger Stage
This stage has two categories. You fall in the first category if you get angry at yourself for messing things up. 

The other category is for those who get angry at their Ex for wasting their time.

This is the most delicate stage and to some extent destructive. At some point, you will project your anger and here the battle begins. 

You are likely to have an ugly exchange with your Ex and some betray the trust they had and expose each other secrets.   

This is the stage where you are likely to get violent or suicidal.

If you have a good degree of self-control then you can deal with the anger internally. The downside to this reaction is that you will be a ticking bomb waiting to go off.

This is mostly the longest phase and if you can’t move past it, probably you should consider getting professional help. 

4. Acceptance Stage
This is the point where you get clarity and start seeing things for what they are.

You start understanding that your relationship failed. There is a chance that it could have been salvaged but there is an equal chance that it was going nowhere.

You slowly come to terms with the situation.
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5. The Painful Phase
This is the point where you actually feel the pain. 

During the first four stages, your mind is clouded and subconsciously you block out your true emotions.

This is the stage when it hits you to the point of even shedding tears. Be careful because the pain can easily drag you into depression.

6. Moving on to Stage
Here you make a conscious decision to put it all behind you and turn over a new leaf.

For ladies, this is the point where you are likely to get a makeover to feel alive and confident.
You may get stuck at some stages longer than others but the good news is that it shall all come to pass. 

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2 comments:

  1. It is a process that you must go through before getting into another healthy relationship.

    ReplyDelete