Mum & Dad I am Ashamed of You

Dear Mum,  I‘m writing this letter to let you know that visiting day is in two weeks and to please beg you not to let dad come and visit me.  He dresses in ‘yeboyebo’ (big, open plastic shoes), baggy un-ironed t-shirt, and trousers. That really embarrasses me before my friends. I am not even proud to introduce him to my friends and teachers. He never listens to what I have to say and he just annoys me.

This and so much more were the sad contents of the letter I had picked in my high school drive on my way to evening preps after supper. Signed your loving daughter Cynthia. What really caught my eye in the whole letter was “your loving daughter “. This is a child who is ashamed of her parent and she proudly describes herself as a loving child of her parent. 

This got me thinking. How is it that a child who is loved, adored, and cherished would be ashamed of their parent who is paying school fees for her in a national school?  What happens if this child who is a blessing could turns out to be a parent’s worst nightmare? What transpires to a point where a child wants nothing to do with their parents? Who is to blame? 

A parent is an earthly God to his/her child. Without parents to bring us into this world then none of us would ever exist. When a child is born there normally is a lot of joy and congratulatory messages from friends and family.  Some families gather together to celebrate the addition of a new member to the family

Parents work extremely hard to ensure that we get all the basic needs that are essential for good and normal physical, psychological, and emotional growth. They deserve to be respected and loved the same way despite their weaknesses. 

The experiences a child goes through as they grow up will determine who they are.  But sometimes some factors or things make a child have a negative attitude toward the parent

•  Abuse and violence in the home- in a home where parents are ever fighting or are verbally abusive to each other or to their children. This affects the child’s esteem and the child ends up hating the parents since they are.

• Alcoholism by both or one parent – some people really misbehave when they are drunk and you embarrass your child when they go out to play and mingle with their peers.

• Low self-esteem – there is a certain standard  a child would wish to be in for him/her to feel appreciated

•   Extreme poverty -  this mostly affects adolescents and youths

• Very old parents – the age gap between a parent and they sometimes make them not very happy to introduce them to their friends

• Peer pressure- children become friends with other children who are not of the same class and status; this comes with a lot of pressure to really fit in.

• Dress code, hairstyle, and behavior of the parent – some parents act, dress, and behave like teenagers. This makes children very embarrassed because one cannot tell the difference between them and an adolescent.

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   Some parents are bullies- some parents are too harsh in the name of discipline and this makes children fear them.  A child would not feel very comfortable bringing their friends home or even introducing them in school since the parent would start lecturing them on manners. 

The fact remains, whoever, they are your parent is a precious gift from God. No one can ever replace them. Respect, Love and Cherish them while you have them.

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