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“Everyone does it even the
priests, Imams and bishops.” This was my boyfriend of 3 months justifying his
real intentions of wanting to have sex with me. We both were born again
Christians so I thought. I had gone to visit and spend sometime with my
boyfriend after being apart for almost a month.
On this particular Wednesday he was
very rough. His hands were trying to be all over me. To me this kind of
behavior was a bit strange coming from him since he had suggested that we
remain pure in this relationship until marriage.
For any girl especially a born again
Christian like me that was the best news and I thanked God for sending this
Angel of a man into my life (rolling eyes). For real who doesn’t need a person
who chooses to remain pure until they say I do? Well I DO.
My people apart from the Holy book
telling and advising us to remain pure. Chastity is a matter of choice.
Depending on the values that were instilled in us by our parents and the people
we associated with as we grew up. There are some principles we put on ourselves
that sometimes define who we really are.
So Jason (that is his name) was
behaving in a rather awkward manner. Politely I told him No( And by the way men
when a lady these days tells you NO she definitely means it please do not interpret
it the other way round).
He kept on insisting and reminding me how the holy people also do it. Yes it is true that everyone does it but one thing he was forgetting was we were not ‘everyone’ and I would not do it because everyone was doing it. I choose to remain pure in my relationships and when I shared my thoughts with him he agreed. So I do not know what went wrong along the way.
He kept on insisting and reminding me how the holy people also do it. Yes it is true that everyone does it but one thing he was forgetting was we were not ‘everyone’ and I would not do it because everyone was doing it. I choose to remain pure in my relationships and when I shared my thoughts with him he agreed. So I do not know what went wrong along the way.
“This relationship without intimacy
feels like I’m dating my sister or mother.” ……..What! But I thought we agreed
or were we agreeing just so that I would fall in love with you knowing you had
in you some of the values I had in me?” I asked looking straight into his eyes.
“Things change and I have changed you better change some of those so called
Christian values fast,” he replied.
As young Christians, we've probably
been warned not to have sex before marriage.
Maybe you've gotten the impression that God thinks sex is bad, but the Bible
says something quite contrary. If looked at from a godly perspective, sex in
the Bible is a very good thing. Sex is a beautiful thing meant to be
experienced by a married couple.
Sex is for married couples. Period.
I’m not in any way judging that who are sexually active outside marriage but
that is the truth. The Bible does agrees. God calls us all to control our
passions and wait for marriage:
- But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2-3,
-
It is
God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual
immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that
is holy and honorable, (1Thessalonians 4:3-4,)
Sex is a gift from God to be fully
enjoyed by married couples. When we honor God's boundaries, sex is a very good
and beautiful thing.
Fact is:-
- Not everybody is having sex and yes sex is a very big deal because it involves our emotions. Sex and love are not one and the same thing. They are very different, but they are meant to complement one another. If you are in love it does not mean you should have sex.
- Sex is an act. Love is an emotion. They are very different, and it can be dangerous to mix them up. You should never feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you want to show them you love them.
- There are plenty of non-sexual ways to show your love to someone (that is a story for another day.….). That does not mean you have turned into your boyfriend or girlfriend’s relative
Question: Are you happy and comfortable with what happens in your relationship and how far is too far?
what is chastity to you?
Related Articles:
1. 5 Ways to Say 'You Love Him' Without Using Words
2. 6 Things to Look For When Searching for Mr. Right
HAPPY WISE CHOICES YEAR!
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