Love in the Early 20s Vs Love in Late 20s

Courtesy: pxhere.com

I have an obsession with public benches especially those that are; remote, lonely and offer a picturesque view. One such bench I love is one Uhuru highway round about, on your way to Upper hill before; Processional way that crosses Uhuru Park and opens out to Serena hotel. 

I love this bench for two reasons: I swear on my beard that on this road, you can easily see just about any car model if you’re the kind that is into cars perhaps because; most leafy suburbs and premium office spaces can be accessed via this road hence the “good” cars. Two; this bench offers the peace, quiet and solitude that most empaths often need to recharge from life’s fuckery, watch the skyscrapers from a distance, the park and people going about their business. 

Related article: Life is about Creating Yourself

I can’t possibly describe how orgasmic it feels every time I see a black metallic Mercedes Benz G-class wagon -maybe because I haven’t been in one and this bench, offers you a free trip to dreamland. On this particular instance, something else got my attention. A young publicly affectionate couple, walked past a beat up Baba J and that moment; I engaged over thinking mode to some point even prayed their union may last as happy as they seemed. My life in a flash came and felt like I would offer my unsolicited advice on how to maintain that ‘spark’ and how to not get burned by the very spark that should be kept alive because; they looked pretty young most likely early 20s.

Courtesy: dreamstime.com

I remember love in my early 20s what it was and how it’s very different from what it is in your late 20s. Early 20s love is like a jigsaw puzzle where, all the pieces are right in front of you all you got to do simply is; find where each piece fits. Late 20s, love becomes a crossword puzzle where you need to think carefully about all your answers, work each word keeping in mind that every single word in the missing spaces gives rise to a clue for your next answer. 

At the jigsaw level (early 20s), image is a big piece of that ‘game’ and swag was everything if you recall young boys and girls work/ed overtime to create this “image”( clothes you wear, how you walk, talk, places you hang and with whom etc). 

Late 20s, you begin to realize love goes beyond a person’s persona and it is exclusively a personal affair – self love (who you are, what you identify yourself with and with who, how you treat yourself and by extension expect to be treated etc). I Wished someone whispered this to my ears growing up perhaps, I could have made better choices in life: hurt less people as less people hurt me to not wasting no one’s time.

Also check out: Love Is Not A Formula

Choices in our early 20s tend to be fiercely peer influenced where other people’s opinion tend to matter more than the voice of reason inside us. Late 20s the voice of reason speaks louder than people’s opinion because by now; any mature person is exposed to the harsh realities of life and naturally expected to act behave better hence – love at late 20s is a CROSSWORD. Jigsaw is fun; fishing for the many different pieces to play this game can be equated to the spark of ‘young love’. 

At early 20s most relationships length is/was determined by how long this ‘fun’ could last where; the end of a spark meant the end of a relationship even if it is over something dubiously petty. At crossword level, love late 20s is a bit scarily for all the following; it involves a lot of thinking, it is selfish, it is uncertain especially if people have been burnt in the past and “fun” is automatically replaced with “mature”.

Also check out: How to Be and Remain Blind in Love

Courtesy: videoblocks.com

Here is the thing: if you ever replaced “fun” with “mature” at your early 20s; you will be scaring the fuck out of potential suitors. Why? It is the wrong stage to be mature because, unless you and your significant other operate at the same wavelength; it is suicidal to be mature at a stage you are supposed to be having FUN-responsibly off course!! 

At your late 20s: it is incredibly foolish to replace “maturity” with “fun”. Maturity at this stage is your default moral compass even life knows this of you thus; stupid choices, recklessness and ignorance are punished with severity of this age! I wondered if the boy selling dreams to his girl in front of me knew at some point; life drastically humbles you or even change directions and if they truly loved each other: when time came let go or if one chose to walk away, they would do so with all the grace in this world because there is love in doing so too.

With Love,

Kelvin Githaiga. 

Read, Leave a comment and don't forget to Subscribe. Chart with us on Twitter @DecentHub   and on Facebook   Decent Conversations