A Friend in Need Vs A Friend When in Need

Courtesy: Times of India

I have been thinking about this popular saying, "A friend in need is a friend in deed". Sure there is no greater moment to appreciate friendship than when you are in your lowest moment. I mean, someone who stands with you during adversity can stand by you at all times. But surely, does it mean adversity is the real measure of friendship? What happens when your friend is not available in your hour of need?

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When I think about friendship I am reminded of Jesus and the story of Lazarus. The Bible says that Jesus was a friend of Lazarus. He actually used to visit him and was very fond of Lazarus and the sisters. When Lazarus fell ill and the sisters sent a message to Jesus, he didn't respond promptly. To us, it may appear like he didn't care much about his friend. We are accustomed to having our "true friends" drop everything to be there for us. All in all, Jesus loved them.

John 11: ⁵ Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. ⁶ Yet when he received the news that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was for two more days.

Jesus knew that Lazarus will be well and he went to their home later. When he got there, the sisters and even those around him blamed Jesus for the death of Lazarus. 

John 11: ²¹ Martha said to Jesus, “If you had been here, Lord, my brother would not have died!

³² Mary arrived where Jesus was, and as soon as she saw him, she fell at his feet. “Lord,” she said, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died!” 

³⁷ But some of them said, “He gave sight to the blind man, didn't he? Could he not have kept Lazarus from dying?” 

Courtesy: pixabay.com

This story just shows what people expect from friendship. Despite the numerous Christian teachings, one thing that I like is that Jesus did not take adversity to prove his friendship. The danger to measuring friendship with adversity is you become the friend when in need. You always need friends during adversity but friendship has to be molded despite the season.

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There is the great danger of being a friend when in need which puts off others. When you are always reaching out to friends during hard times it will become harder for you to get their support. A saying in my local language says friendship is like a farm it needs gardening. A true friend is there during the bad and good times. They understand you and hold your hands all the way. Even when they are not able to be there with you physically they still offer emotional support.

Let's take time to build friendships and be cautious of acquaintances.

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