I met Allan Bukusi last year and the first thing he did
was purchase a copy of my book, 'Grieving and Healing After Loss'. Several days
later, he sent me an email that moved me to tears because it spoke to my heart.
Today I wish to share with you the following words from
Allan and I hope they will speak to you as well.
This book is about two people. Eddie and Manuela. Eddie
shines like a star throughout the book. Manuela is mentioned in closing or it
may be that Manuela is the new beginning.
The book is written with the passion of a wounded soul watching
the passing of a vibrant and energetic spirit. A spirit that says life must go
on.
The author relates the sad tale with clinical accuracy
and warns us that we must all be ready to walk this path. Three years on she
details what she will not let go of. And prays that those who walk the path may
find comfort and solace on the journey- and hope that healing will come. It is
a sad story that has documented history from an observer who has not moved on.
The writer tells us of the wells and oasis where one
might find comfort and points out the dead ends and cul-de-sac of despair. The
writer speaks from a heart seeking sympathy in helping others deal with
reality. Eddie lived his life and the writer lets us know that he is in a
better place and will not return. Eddie urges us all to move on.
Perhaps the
writer's intention was not to take us on an emotional roller-coaster but
counsel us on the turbulence of grief, sorrow, and loss. Nonetheless, my heart
goes out to the author who must be given a chance to live and not be forced to
stay in the past. Three years is a long time to cry.
Tabitha, this I write to you as a writer. A writer is the
most vulnerable person in the world. What the world does not appreciate is that
we (writers) speak from the heart. We bare our souls for others to grow theirs.
That means we allow the world to read our thought, share our feeling and
criticize our opinions (leave alone the fact that the critics have not written
anything to be criticized about). I, therefore, write the following words with
great respect for your quest.
… As I read your book I thought of your experience. First
I empathized and let you speak your heart. Then I wrestled with the topic
myself and the grief I have experienced myself. Then I stopped myself and
thought about how enfreezing, imprisoning and crippling grief can be. Then I
began to seek freedom for you and for me. It is but a season.
Later in the evening, I thought about Ruth and Orpah. I
now know that Naomi did the right thing to send the girls back to their homes.
Orpah was not bad or disloyal. She went back and started again. Ruth held
on to her grief and would not leave the living memory that symbolized her pain.
But Naomi – A wise woman – Insisted that Ruth start again five years later.
To you my newfound friend, I call out Ruth! A new
beginning! I know I may have overstepped my boundaries in this matter, but in
you, I see great talent, capacity, and competence that Manuela needs and the
World will be the worse for your gifts if you do not move on. God knows you.
Jeremiah was in desperation when God told him He has good plans. I urge you to
believe that God has good plans, but first, you must believe. Break with the
past and move on.
Regards,
Allan Bukusi
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