Wednesday, 24 January 2018

Is There a Right Time To Walk Away?


Courtesy: fuelrunning.com
Every relationship is unique in nature. There is no particular template to measure a successful relationship or a healthy one. 

Nothing is cast in stone and relationships are purely developed by individual effort.


You build and evaluate relationships based on:
  • Your Personality
  • The personality of the significant other
  • Expose to other relations (Failed or successful)
  • Interaction with people in a relationship: This you use as a reference point.
Most relationships are built in great comparison to the relationship you were exposed to while growing up. 

Your parent's relationship greatly influences how you build your own relationships. This is the first relationship you associate with and automatically or subconsciously becomes your reference point.


Courtesy: cityrunnersync.com
A great friend of mine called Kelvin once told me, “I admire the way my parents have raised us and how they cared for each other. They have managed to stick together through thick and thin. This gives me the motivation to settle down one day and fully commit to my wife and raising my children.” 

On the flip side, I have heard others tell me, “I do not want to end up in a relationship like my parents. If that is how love is, I’d rather remain single forever.” 

This goes to show how our views on love and relationships are greatly shaped by our parents. The lenses on relationships may differ but there are common scenarios that require you to walk away.

So is there a right time to walk away?

Yes, there is, despite how long you have been with this person or how many children you have. Here are the best times to walk away:

Courtesy: lifehack
1. When a relationship becomes abusive

I know you have been told relationships are about perseverance and sacrifice. Sure, there are things that you will have to put up with that are not loving in any way given that you knew the weaknesses of your significant other. 

However, when you get to the point where your; physical, emotional, and mental well-being is at stake then you need an exit strategy.

Some people live hoping that the abuser will one day change which is possible. If this goes on repeatedly over some time, you need to begin having hope that you will survive yourself. This will be the best time to walk away.

I am not saying that you flee every time things get heated but at a logical time when your well-being matters most.


2. When you get to a point of exhaustion and anguish
It is human nature to give all you have for the sake of love. Every moment you spend with those you love there is an urge to make them happier or more comfortable than yesterday. This can go on to the extent that you no longer think about yourself. 

This would be a lovely scenario if the other person is reading from the same script. It’s not exactly tit-for-tat but a feeling of mutual love. There are several occasions when there is an imbalance in the level of commitment and this turns into a parasitic relationship. 

If you are looking for the best time to hit the road then this is it. A parasitic relationship will slowly drain you even without you realizing it. The only time you see it is when you feel exhausted, anguished, or not good enough. At that moment, I give you the right to walk away.

3. When the relationship becomes a group
What I mean by a relationship being a group is there being other decision-makers attached to your matters or when your significant other is involved with someone else. Unless you have agreed on polygamy or polyandry then you need to hit the road. 

The other scenario is often evident when you cannot agree on something with your significant other until they go consult. Seeking advice is not wrong but if the ‘consultant’ is the show stopper, my friend, I allow you to walk away.

Courtesy: understandingrelationships.com
Conclusion
Depending on your strength, commitment, and personality, every issue in a relationship can be worked out. But this also needs to reflect on your significant other. If all your efforts are going down the drain then you know what to do.

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