Love is one thing that man has for ages struggled to understand and explain. The most simple definition is a strong positive emotion towards someone or something that goes beyond feelings.
Everyone desires to be loved but mostly you end up in a camouflage of love.
Related Post: Love and Lust: Tearing Down the Relationship Veil
On 24th June 2018, I had an opportunity to be a panelist during Mombasa Youth Ablaze monthly session. The theme of the day was 'Love Dare' based on Songs of Solomon 8:4.
This discussion was eye-opening and quite intriguing as I also got an opportunity to learn from my fellow panelist as well as the audience. Every time I have a conversation on love, there is a new dimension that is brought by the discussion and it is a topic that can never be exhausted.
Lust is the greatest camouflage of love. It can be described as, an uncontrollable desire toward something or someone. This feeling pushes someone to do just anything to get what they want. When it comes to a relationship it brings the aspect of being self-centered; where one looks at what is there for them.
Lust can easily be distinguished from love because with lust there is no patience and everything is for your own good. Love brings the sense of wanting the best for the other and also sacrifice. It is more about giving than what you receive.
Other aspects of relationships are a fling, crash, friends with benefits (FWB) as well as infatuation. FWB and fling are closely related. They are often sexual agreements with no emotional commitment. Infatuation on the other hand can be seen as fake love where one has strong physical attraction and at times it becomes an obsession.
Relationships have become complex in the new age given that most young people can not fully describe what they are doing. The emotional and sexual needs are met in different arrangements that developing long-term relationships has become daunting.
For those willing to commit challenges are still there. To begin with, so much is expected while little is given. You will find people who want to see the end game before they commit. Some want to be given a lot without giving anything probably because they carry wounds from past relationships. Past wounds and a poor understanding of the principles of love make it hard to build relationships.
Related Article: How to Be and Remain Blind in Love
So many ask whether you should follow your heart? The Bible says, The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jer 17:9 KJV) It is hard to trust your heart but if it is committed to God then He will guide your thoughts and paths.
Where are we going wrong?
- Relationships are starting wrong with so much deceit and hidden agendas. As time flies you find yourself tangled up in what you did not sign up for.
- Secondly, there is so much disobedience and young people have refused to listen to the voice of reason. There is no room to counter-check in the digital age. You are either in or out!
- When things go south taking responsibility has become close to a thorn in the flesh. This may be the reason why you are walking with a wounded heart.
- Bringing together two halves instead of two wholes. You get into relationships to find completion rather than 'complement-ion'.
What Now?
Love does exist and to find it you need to find it in Christ first and understand the fundamentals of love as listed in 1 Corinthians 13. There is also a need to have the right footing by learning to love yourself and not expecting someone to complete you. Then listen to others, they could be seeing what you are not but be wise not everyone is of good intentions.
Also Read: Love and Lust Forum June Edition
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