How I lost my Innocence at 7 years in My Father’s House


Courtesy: vishwavani.news
Home is meant to be the safest space and parents the greatest protectors. At least that is what I believed till the day when my world turned upside down. 

Having grown up in a typical Coastal family, having relatives at home was the norm. We were all a big happy family with relatives who received financial support from my parents. Our home was their home.

I try so hard to block the memories of the day they deflowered me but the scenes still play on my mind. The fact that every time I visit home, I get to see those who did it, makes it more unbearable. What I am still struggling to get into terms with is the fact that, my own mother punished me and never believed a word I said.

What did I know? I was just seven years and they were 18 years and above. They were supposed to be my elder brothers and I the little girl playing with dolls and dust. Papa had taught me that, I should never allow anyone to touch me and I knew this was wrong.

During the holidays, my parents left me home with the house guests and our caregiver. This fateful day, our house guests turned into monsters. I thought they were offering me dancing lessons but their intention was different. As I took a step they pushed me to a chair and covered my mouth. I could barely scream or run away. They were 100 times stronger than me and my attempts to scream for help were futile. 

When my mother came home, I reached out to her but she defended them. She said they were good boys and I was accusing them. The pain I felt could not compare to the betrayal from my own mother who was supposed to protect me. Since she did nothing, the same ordeal happened the next day and the next.  On the third day, our caregiver heard my cry for help and came to my rescue. Later in the evening she told my mother who went on to beat me and do other horrible things that I can’t mention.

My father was away for work and only got to know about the ordeal later through a family friend with whom I confided in. To add salt to injury, he beat me up and told me to deal with it. Despite having physical and emotional pain I was left to find healing by myself. I did not know what to do so I neither got medical nor psychological treatment.

Courtesy: India Today
I was shuttered inside which affected my self-esteem and worth and it was very hard for me to develop close friendships. My academic performance was greatly affected as well as my personality and I was branded the bad person yet I was suffering inside. Sadly, I grew up hating my parents for literally leaving me to the dogs and not coming to my rescue.

Life has not been easy and I have tried suicide seven times but survived on all occasions. This gave me the realization that I have a purpose to accomplish in this life. I am 23 years now and in a stable relationship. My boyfriend is very supportive and has helped me deal with ghosts of my childhood.

As a parting short I would like to say, this life is not a bed of roses and you determine your own destiny despite what you have been through whether good or bad. Life is not about what people think of you but what you think of yourself. With a positive mindset nothing can stop you from getting what you want.

All my life I felt like a failure and I condemned myself until I got to where I decided to pick up the little pieces and move forward. I am sharing this story to encourage someone, for them to know they are not alone and to ask parents to be keen or friendly with their children.


This is a true story but details on the victim have been eliminated to protect their identity. Do you have a story you would like to share, Send and email/message with the subject, 'I have a story' to thedecentconversations@gmail.com or  0786404432.


Comments

  1. Sorry for what happened.
    Your are God's instrument for the heartbroken, your story would revive their souls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a sad reality but we pray that many will find healing

      Delete
  2. very interesting , good job and thanks for sharing such a valuable topic.
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