5 Steps to Confront Him When He Comes Home Drunk

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I was tossing and turning in bed asking myself endless questions. David was not yet home and it was almost 2am. He was slowly becoming a stranger. For three months now, David was nowhere to be found on weekends. 

Was I right to suspect something was wrong? Could he be tired of our marriage? How was I going to reason with him if he is always drunk?

“Dear God give me the strength to hold on and be a proper wife….” Suddenly, I heard a mirror shatter downstairs. I grabbed my gown and went to check. 

David was home from his escapades and he was sitting on the couch staring at the broken vase. Noticing my presence, he stood up and walked towards me trying to embrace me.

“Sorry honey, I did not mean to wake you. It was just a small accident. Let’s go to bed I will clean this up tomorrow.”

I was in no mood to fight but this was my limit.

“No problem dear, we shall clean it up when it’s bright. We wouldn’t want another accident to happen, would we?” I said calmly.

The Confrontation

1. Be Calm 

I tried my best to be composed, if he sensed I was angry this would turn to a fight.

“You know how much I love you dear. Today, you got me so worried. I called you over 10 times.”

David was not as calm as I was. I bet he was looking for a fight.

“A man should have his space. At times just let me do whatever I want” He answered with his deep voice.

2. Play the victim

I could not contain myself anymore. I needed to get to the bottom of the issue at all cost. With a shaky voice and tears wetting my eyes I asked,

“Do you despise me that much? Don't I mean anything to you?” 

David was getting uncomfortable. He hates to see me cry. He moved closer and holds me though I could feel him breathing so hard like a raging bull.

“You are the one I love," he says calmly. “But you need to understand, that does not mean you should monitor and scrutinize my every move!" He yelled.

I could not hold my tears anymore. I cared so much about David and he takes it to be meddling in his affairs. Was I just supposed to play blind and dumb acting like nothing was happening? 

3. Pull the Trigger

David at this point had turned red. His anger was tearing his skin. I gathered my strength and asked,

“Has it come to this? Is this how our love ends? Tell me the truth David, are you tired with me?”

I was asking so many questions and giving him no chance to speak. I could tell he was getting pissed off by the moment but I needed to clear my chest.

“If you love me, why  treat me like trash?”

By the time this question landed into his ear drums a slap was on my face. He had crossed the line and I did not know how to react. For the years I have known him, David never lifted even a finger at me. I needed to act fast or get a blow.

4.  Calm the storm

David realized what he had done and he made a quick apology blaming me for pushing him to the wall. 

“Cate, please forgive me. I love you so much but it is not easy to please you.” 

I stood there silent, waiting to hear his justification. I just gave him a blank stare.

“My parents are pressuring me to give them a grandchild and they have threatened to kick you out of the house because they think …. “ A long dramatic pause followed and I almost screamed but he recollected himself. “They think you are barren and I can’t explain to them that I am not ready for kids. 

My career is just on the climax and this is my defining moment. I am not ready for the financial responsibility.”

I almost laughed at him. I was the one who needed to be worried of being branded barren and besides the biological clock was not going to wait for me. However, this was no reason enough for him to act this way.

5. Reaffirm your Power

“You know I want kids to. I don’t mean to betray you but your parents have a point.”

 I held his hands, looked straight into his eyes and said, “I will love you till the end of my days. Be calm”.

“Let us get some rest and figure this out tomorrow when you are in a proper state of mind.” I said calmly.

 
I then gave him the denied hug and we walked to our bedroom holding hands and cuddling but within me I knew things were going to change.

David can be a handful at times and crazy but he is crazy enough for me. The heart loves what it wants.

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