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I am sure you are trying to make sense
out of what I am saying. It’s nothing
out of the ordinary.
“I love them both and can’t choose.”
Maybe you have even given advice to
someone in that sort of dilemma. The bottom line is, It HAPPENS!!!
It only gets real when you are the one
facing the ‘monster’ dilemma. You may try to ask around, Google, or do an anonymous
post on social media but you never get the right answers. At the end of the day,
you have to make an informed decision.
You probably have come across those who
say,
“Pick the latter because, if you really
love the first you wouldn’t have fallen for the second”.
However, I beg to defer. We love people
for different reasons.
Many times people “fall in love” with
the second person because they are somehow bored or missing something from the
first.
If you find yourself in the forbidden
tango with two parties here is how you roll the dice:
1)
Reflect
back on your first relationship.
This helps you evaluate your
relationship, and when and why you started in the first place. The circumstances
under which you met and why you connected.
It also helps you pinpoint when the
second party came into the picture and what drew you together.
Basically, it
helps you get a reflection of yourself and the wave driven by your emotions.
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2)
Are
the circumstances temporary?
The whole concept of a relationship is not
easy to handle and as a matter of fact, it was never supposed to be. However,
not many people get that.
When something as small as a misunderstanding
hits a relationship, it can be a loophole for “extra love”. This is the moment
when you look elsewhere for comfort and someone to confide in.
This confidant, especially if is of the
opposite sex may be mistaken to be a lover, for the care and the concern that
they show.
3)
Weigh
your current circumstance.
At this point, you should be acting without
bias if you want to make the right choice.
Once you know understand the circumstance
that brought you and your supposed lovers together then, you can determine
which one was temporary and which one is a long-lasting and effective relationship.
Be aware of where you are in life to
know what you really want and need.
Then, check which of the two relationships
can be of help and not just a part-time ice cream when life gets moody.
4)
Make
a decision.
Your evaluations should help you better
understand what is happening and why it is. Since you have this, you can now
make your decision.
In most cases, you come to find out that
the second was just a substitute for something missing in the initial relationship.
If you choose to go with the substitute then
you are likely to let go later, once you discover they cannot totally be what
you need but only what you wanted then.
At times, however, you can find out that
the initiative was only temporary but now you have found someone you would really
consider when you are making your ‘till
death do us part’ vows.
It all depends on your personality and
instincts. All I can say is, pray hard or you will mess up at this point.
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| Photo Source: www.rajeshsetty.com |
5)
Act
on your decision.
The longer you keep your two ‘lovers’
the more you will get confused and even hurt them both. In the end, you may
even come to lose them both especially when they discover the truth.
Act on your decision by ending what is
temporary. You need to drop them before you lose them, it will hurt less.
Do
not get stuck at a crossroad, make that right turn or left turn. It is
dangerous to just stand on the road!!!
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I would not like to be in that situation.
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