Sunday 17 September 2017

The ‘Presidential Wait’ in Relationships


Courtesy: Afrikanmbiu.com
On 8th August 2017, Kenya went to the polls to elect their leaders.  There was so much anticipation and speculation around the presidential result that it felt like the whole country was at a standstill. I cannot count how many times I heard people saying, 
‘We are waiting for the Presidential results so that we know what's next.’ 
Finally, the results were announced but the results were contested in court
giving Kenyans extra waiting time.

As if we had not waited enough, the results were nullified and we are yet again waiting to go for a fresh presidential election in October. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees about the upcoming polls including how long we will wait to have a new president.

You may wonder why I am talking about the Presidential elections and what any of that has to do with relationships. The political atmosphere got me to see several aspects that people wait in speculation, anticipation, and anxiety. This situation at times may hold you hostage in a relationship if you give away your power as an equal party in the relationship.

So what is the ‘Presidential Wait’ in relationships?

1. The Wait for a Marriage Proposal
People get into relationships for differing reasons but one reason that stands out is a lifelong partnership. The sad reality is, not all relationships end in marriage despite the level of commitment. 

Courtesy: herb.co
Some ladies give themselves fully to a relationship going on for years with the hope of a marriage proposal. At times, you may throw in some hints without anything coming forth and so you keep waiting. 

The wait may either end in a proposal when you are almost giving up or heartbreak when you thought things were great.

You need not be at the mercy of your significant other. Practice the art of discussing the progress and future of your relationship. Be bold as times go by and ask whether marriage is part of the plan. After all, you are not a spectator in that relationship and you know what you want.


2. The Wait for a Breakup
Very few people want to be the ones to call off a relationship. It is human nature to always want to look good as well as enjoy the unlimited company of the opposite sex. Some relationships go on for years yet they are very unfulfilling and nobody is ready to call it quits. The funny part is, both parties are waiting for the other to get tired and end it. There are moments that you live every day looking forward to and hoping for a breakup. Self-sabotage comes in handy at this point when you try to make the other party angry so that they can let you lose. 

This is the worst kind of wait because you will just tolerate each other to the point where it becomes resentment and get to the breakup consensus. 

Just be true to yourself and get the courage to end things when a relationship is at the point of no return. If you are tired, why wait for someone else to make that decision for you? Breaking up with someone is better than resentment.


3. The Wait for Change
This is the toughest of them all. Time and time again I have heard people say they say potential in either a man or a woman and got into a relationship with them. Some chose to overlook a person’s shortcomings because of love. You may be hoping beyond all odds that when you settle down or because of your love an individual may decide to drop some of their bad habits.

Courtesy: Gram-search.com
Do not get me wrong, I actually believe love conquers all but it has to be on the same wavelength as the person who is receiving the love. At times you may go miles for a person who speaks a different kind of love hoping you are communicating.

The weight of change fills me with fear, especially when it comes to violence. There are men, women, and children who are subjected to different kinds of violence yet live hoping one day the perpetrator will change. 

By the mercies of God, some people change, and equally, there are innocent people who either lose their lives or get scared for life. 

Your well-being is more important than endurance. Support your loved one but take care of yourself and wait for change at a distance. 


Do not forget to share and drop a comment. To share your story email me at thedecentconversations@gmail.com



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