Money and Relationships: My Two Cents

Courtesy: sistergirlnews.com

During our event on Healthy Vs Unhealthy Relationship forum (#MoneyandRelationships) on 8th September 2016, I had a question as an ice breaker. 

So I asked the audience, "Is money something to consider when getting into a relationship?"

The responses were just intriguing making me realize how uncomfortable people get when it comes to discussing finances.  

Everyone has their intention when getting into a relationship and financial security could be one of them. We established that, money should not be a determining factor of whether to be with someone or not.  However, it is necessary to know the financial position of your significant other to adjust and even make future plans together.

That is just the first level of the conversation which go deeper as your relationship advances. Couples need to discuss; earnings, investments, spending, bills, future progression, liability, assets just to name but a few. For a healthy relationship you both need to be aware of how your home economy is running. 

Relationships are a life time investment emotionally, physically, psychologically and financially. You hence need to safe guard and be informed about all aspects of the relationship.

Make sure to also read: 6 Ways to Talk About Money When Dating

Couples avoid talking about money like a plague and so many people commit to a relationship without knowing the financial burden that awaits them. One of the things that T.D. Jakes outlines in his book, 'Before You Do' is asking a person their debt-to-income ratio before saying YES to a marriage proposal. This is meant to help you visualize their financial condition and make informed decision. It is clear that, lack of financial transparency has erupted disagreements as well as cost relationships.

My Two Cents 

Courtesy: singularcity.com

When getting into a long term relationship be prepared to allow someone into your secret money sanctuary. You need to start looking at yourself being part of a team with your significant other.

Begin by being accountable and honest to yourself about money as you build the trust of your significant other.

You need to also appreciate that everyone has a different relationship with money which determines how they spend, save and earn.

To ace the money aspect of your relationship you need to look into the following about you spouse:

• Culture

Everyone is cultured differently  and this does not necessarily mean community, tribe or race. Culture here implies, the views held by the society they grew up in based on money. This determines how a person grows to look at money and relate to it to the extend of developing characters of generosity or stinginess.

• Lifestyle

Despite where you come from, their is a lifestyle which you design for yourself. Your lifestyle dictates what you are willing to spend on or not, as well as what matters most to you. It also determines whether one is a saver or spender. When you get to analyses and understand the lifestyle your significant other want, then your conversation around money will be a walk in the park.

•  Personality

Everyone has a unique personality which determines their outlook on money despite financial status. Individual personalities guides lifetime decisions and judgement around money. Personality often shapes your relationship to money. So take time to understand your partner.

The bottom line is, you need to discuss money at all levels of your relationship for there to be progression.

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