As good and exciting as any relationship we get into can be, preparing for marriage was and became a small idol for me. My soul was restless and I secretly thought that if I became a better Christ-follower, a better communicator, a better cook or dresser, God would indeed bless me with a husband. When a short-lived relationship with the perfect Christian ended some years back, my whole world almost come to an end and I felt betrayed.
Related Article: That moment when it is over and you have No Idea
Related Article: That moment when it is over and you have No Idea
I made a conscious decision to stop preparing myself for marriage. Preparation wasn't going to make or break the outcome of that relationship. And I realized that it never could, the tiebreaker is always God's big plan and His perfect timing. And preparation was something I had to let go of reason being I was treating God like a vending machine. Following God doesn't work that way. His ways aren't mine, and most of the time, I'm glad they're not.
Read Things You Must Do As You Wait for Prince Charming
Read Things You Must Do As You Wait for Prince Charming
Married or single, we all have unfulfilled dreams. Dark, dusty corners of our hearts where we are not quite sure God is going to meet our needs or desires, I have yet to meet someone who says, "I have everything I ever dreamed of, my life is perfect." We are not promised all blessings, yet we negotiate with God like He owes theM to us.
Yes, I want to pray more, trust more, and be more obedient. But I'm not going to do these things to prepare for marriage or to prove my devotion and find my prince charming at my doorstep. I'm doing all these because my soul becomes alive when I'm with God. Everything I turn to leaves me empty. Paul told the Philippians, "Everything is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." I have found that to be true.
Being single doesn't mean I'm alone and empty. The relationship is something I'm living in right now. It is not a destination where I arrive when I meet the man of my dreams. I'm in a relationship with myself and I need more relationships because that is how God created man. Becoming a better communicator or learning to express my feelings or putting the needs of others above my own, that's all the stuff I need to learn as a person and not just as a wife! (Or Husband).
Of course, there's an added element of marriage that I can't find and won't diminish her. I can't share a home, a bed, and children with my friends. But I do walk through difficulties with people I care about. I get sick and people take care of me. I call mentors for advice. I squabble with family. I share meals with friends. I experience conflict and make compromises. I honestly don't consider this 'preparing for marriage.' I consider this to be a person. Everything I learn about life daily doesn't mean I can't apply it in my relationships right now. It's not Preparation. It is MY LIFE. So just live with no pressure from anyone and please don't pressure yourself 😉😉😉😉
Related Articles:
1. The Presidential Wait In Relationships.
2. Real Submission vs Real Love Marriage.
Read, Leave a comment, and don't forget to Subscribe. Chart with us on Twitter @DecentHub and on Facebook Decent Conversations
Being single doesn't mean I'm alone and empty. The relationship is something I'm living in right now. It is not a destination where I arrive when I meet the man of my dreams. I'm in a relationship with myself and I need more relationships because that is how God created man. Becoming a better communicator or learning to express my feelings or putting the needs of others above my own, that's all the stuff I need to learn as a person and not just as a wife! (Or Husband).
Of course, there's an added element of marriage that I can't find and won't diminish her. I can't share a home, a bed, and children with my friends. But I do walk through difficulties with people I care about. I get sick and people take care of me. I call mentors for advice. I squabble with family. I share meals with friends. I experience conflict and make compromises. I honestly don't consider this 'preparing for marriage.' I consider this to be a person. Everything I learn about life daily doesn't mean I can't apply it in my relationships right now. It's not Preparation. It is MY LIFE. So just live with no pressure from anyone and please don't pressure yourself 😉😉😉😉
Related Articles:
1. The Presidential Wait In Relationships.
2. Real Submission vs Real Love Marriage.
Read, Leave a comment, and don't forget to Subscribe. Chart with us on Twitter @DecentHub and on Facebook Decent Conversations
I liked your article my dear.
ReplyDeleteWell said... Just continue being prayerful & God will open doors when u least expect them. For the time being focus on what u have... appreciate. The relationship that didn't work ... God had a reason for it that it may not be clear to u now But maybe later ... it was for the best.
Thank you. Good to read from you
DeleteSuch an honest and open articles. People live as if they are waiting for marriage. It's a good thing that you have set yourself free, may be even opened that door for marriage!!
ReplyDeleteYes gal. We all live with a lot of pressure and formula of how we want things to work out in our lives
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